11 January, 2013

Pruning, Time for New Growth

The phrase "Pruning your Social Garden" was presented to me this past week.  It struck me as such a clever way to allow plants to grow strong and be shaped as you see them.  That is the idea of pruning, now isn't it?

Apply the act of pruning to that of discernment, setting boundaries, intentions and good judgment.   You could even liken it to weeding a garden.  When you set about to grow tomatoes, as that is your intention, when a non fruit baring green thing comes in the garden bed, do you pull it? Why?  In this moment you have passed judgment. This green thing is not a tomato plant and will take vital nutrients out of the soil deprivening the tomato plant.  It may even choke out the tomato plant itself.   

How do we apply this lesson to our social lives?  When someone is choking you out, or sucking up the life force out of you, do you allow it?  Are you passive when it comes to your social life, because you fear being mean, judgmental or just don't have the energy to do something about it?  By allowing this element or behavior to cloud your inner space, you run the risk of manifesting more of the same.. that which is not conducive to your growth and development.

Having the courage to stand up for your needs is the inner journey, now isn't it?   Judgments and discernments about what is or isn't healthful to our lives isn't a bad thing.  It is quite healthy, it is called setting a boundary in many therapy circles and practices.  It isn't about labeling the other person, or name calling or blaming... it is about standing up for what is in your best and highest good for optimum health.  Simply put, you are identifying  an energy pattern which does not support your personal growth.

Recently, I have been under attack for doing this very thing, setting boundaries.  It was insinuated, I was too judgmental and this sort of judgment was an offense equal to horrible sins.  Point of clarification is needed here, because I do not judge the person, I observe the action in question and discern if this is something I wish to have in my energy field.  Does this action support my growth, will it take me to a place that I have already healed from?  It is necessary for my growth and development to experience this sort of energy?

When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband and I took the time to write up a letter.  This letter contained our boundaries.  There were family members who had questionable behavior.  This letter outlined our position on racism, discrimination, drugs, alcohol, unsolicited parenting advice to gift giving.  We didn't say these people where horrible and should repent for their sins... we did state a boundary.  "If we are in your presence, please refrain from these activities.  You are free to do whatever on your own time and in your own space.  But when you are in our space, please respect these decisions".... or something very similar is what we wrote.  It was received well and honestly, it was one of the best choices we made as new parents.  We stood up for our beliefs and let everyone close to us know what we were willing to deal with and what we were not.

If one can respect a boundary of another, then there is much to share in the continued relationship.  But if respecting my boundaries are too much for another person, then we part ways.  This is also to say if I am unwilling to respect a boundary of another.. then maybe I am not in their best interest either.  What motivates another when boundaries are not respected?

Identifying healthy behaviors and discerning harmful actions is called boundary setting.  It is not judgment; this person is good this person is bad etc.  It is the simple act of acknowledging what makes sense in your life.  The only person to know what is acceptable for your life is you.  No one else could or should tell you what is right for you.

pruningBack to pruning?  Well if you do set the boundary and it is not respected or you are being told your discernment process for boundary setting is judgmental, then by all means time to prune.  For this sort of negativity is not about you, but something else beyond your control.   In this moment, the growth of your life is being shaped by something else... not you.  As the gardener, you are the one responsible for healthy plant growth.  When you prune you allow for new growth by cutting back the old growth.  Much like your life, you are responsible for the direction of your path, your health and how you continue to grow.  Who is in your life will impact this direction.  Who respects your path and who is a detour, taking you away from your life?  Who is respecting your boundaries?  Is it time to do some pruning?   

05 January, 2013


What does it mean to clean up, cleanse, purge, detox, move on, change?

Cleansing is for some a daily ritual when it comes to our physical body.  We shower, bathe, wash our face.  Maybe we go a bit deeper and detox from the inside out, changing our daily intake to reduce the daily output; colonics even.  We are purging the toxic build up in our corporal body, to jump start weight loss, increase energy levels and revamp our vital organs. 

We sort and organize our belongings, clean the house, deep clean even washing the baseboards and windows.  We donate the things that are unwanted or no longer useful.

How do you cleanse your aura, energy field, ethereal being, your Luminous Energy Field, ltf.   What about all those negative thoughts, words, patterns of behavior which no longer serve our purpose?  Are we hoarding relationships, negative patterns, destructive self talk?  Are we harboring angry, loathing, envious emotions?  How does one cleanse this aspect of our being?  

Recently, I examined my friend-list on Facebook and purged.  I deleted 8 "friends" that never once exchanged a post or comment with me.  I thought about my interactions in many online groups via FB and Yahoo.  At one point, I was excited, honored and looked forward to participating in them.  Where these groups once served an important part of my soul development, I have come to see how they no longer do.  This isn't a judgement, just a knowing that the time for something else is needed in order for my growth to continue in the manner I am to grow.  All things come and go, ebb and flow in life.  I am well aware of this pattern and do find the natural cycle to be affirming when I see these patterns play out in my day to day life. 

Cleansing takes on a whole new meaning when applied to multiple levels of existence.   It isn't always easy to recognize what is no longer needed.   When releasing sugar from your diet... you know how difficult it is to say no to that ice cream cone.  But there is a pay off... and it usually leads to a certain clarity about yourself;  a sense of knowing a deeper purpose within. The senses are sharpened and more alert.  You become a bit more in the present moment, ready for the living you are meant to live. 

Changing our routines, habits and patterns in all aspects of our lives is how we grow, how we learn.  We process experiences and figure out the next steps.  There is nothing wrong with cleansing, if it is done with the utmost care of your soul and its development.  This is always appropriate and to be celebrated!    Even when the house is clean that too is to be celebrated.  What a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction to see the shiny new space, new you that has been unearthed.  

01 January, 2013

New Year, Cycle Returns


With all the past pressures of new year's resolutions, affirmations, clean slate etc.... it begs the question, what is a new year and it is more than just another day?  

What does a new year mean to me?  
What have I done on New Year's Day?  I sit with my calendar and start marking it up with important dates, events, and highlight certain aspects of the year that I don't want to miss.  As I flip through each month, I start to see the visual in my mind as to the season, the theme, the feelings and the activity.

solar circle year litha beltane yule samhain lunasa lammas candlemass equinox summer winter solstice spring autumn
wonderful piece of art by Nahimaart
It means a whole new cycle of seasons to enjoy.  In fact it always has, as the wheel of the year turns I look forward to each seasonal change and holiday, celebration of life and love in our birthdays and anniversaries, even those days of loved ones passing.   I see family gatherings with scrumptious foods, decorations of various sorts, music of different themes and changing scenery.   I try to see this as the way we move through our lives day by day, ritual by ritual.   I enjoy each moment for what it is and sprinkle the magic all around.   The hard part is not rushing the wheel it's momentum, but relaxing into movement.

The entire year is marked with important dates that awaken my soul and write the story of my life, the personal bits and the collective shared bits.  The year represents a slice of my life.  A segment of time that I mark in continual patterns from day to day.  Each year I do plan on some new things, maybe a place I never visited, a festival to add to my tradition, a new challenge to accomplish.  It is in these experiences that my life is written and this is the tradition I hold for New Year's Day. 

What does the story of your life look like and if you were to create a wheel of the year, would it include balance and dimension, personal and collective, celebration and pause?  

Blessings to each of us as we turn our own wheels.